This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
