He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
