you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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