another moral hangover. fuck.
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
where does the pee come out of this thing
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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