Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
