I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?