we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
These 19 Teachers Had Very Inappropriate Interactions With Students
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Women Confess 25 Instant Deal-Breakers On A Man’s Dating Profile
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her