Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
21 People Reveal The Most Embarrassing Secrets They Know About Someone
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.