Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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