shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Randomize
