just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
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