i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Randomize
