She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
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