ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Randomize
