I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Randomize
