Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Randomize
