Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize