so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Randomize
