sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
