Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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