Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
