How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
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