We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
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