My first STD was from a foam party
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
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