Can Purell be used as lube?
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Randomize
