do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
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