her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
well most of my day revolves around power hour
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
my poor anus
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
