were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
and you fell through a lawn chair
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
