How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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