my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
Randomize
