Sponge bath it is.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Randomize
