I hope mine doesn't look like that
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
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