I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize
