this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
I want her autograph on my taint
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Randomize
