first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Randomize
