At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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