Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Randomize
