Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
