were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
