You're a womanizer and a bitch.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Randomize
