i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
