Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
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