Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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