I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
My vagina is very pro this idea
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
