Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
I looked at my own cervix.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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