Having a random hookup so left but love u
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
Randomize
