Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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