I can't watch pbs sober anymore
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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