Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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