we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
