I think i peed on brittanys purse
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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