I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize
