My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
