I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
