You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Randomize
