i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
me + whiskey = a bad person
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Randomize
