what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
Randomize
