So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
