I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Randomize
