I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
