Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Randomize
