So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
